I Fell In The Reality TV Dumpster & I Can't Get Out! Review, Recap, & Random-Mess.

(All photo credits to their proper sources)

Without delving too much into how in the entire HELL I started watching this show, cuz not for nothin I can’t remember why or how it got started but, nevertheless…

Sidebar/Backstory I confess I WAS addicted to all the Love & Hip Hop jawns in all the little random cities; and I would pop in to watch them from time to time, but to be brutally honest, the production on those shows were so choppy, disjointed and misleading it was distracting. I eventually stopped bothering to watch.

Ps 🙋🏻‍♀️ Since I don’t watch anymore can someone tell me when they finally put Erica Mena in rehab cuz she looks like a stick figure with tits. She looks horrible and she acts like white trash.👀

Anyhow/Anywho…The OWN network has it DOWN with Love & Marriage Huntsville and the new season starts Saturday September 16th and I am SO READY. I’m fittin to have snacks and errythang.

Shoot, ‘tween the snacks for all the Trump Trials during the week and Love & Marriage Huntsville on Saturdays at 8pm, I figure I’ll have my winter weight all put on by Halloween, ya heard?

For those of you who never watched the show, I get it 🤷🏻‍♀️ I guess; and to be kind I’m gonna provide y’all with a brief summary so you don’t have to leave my blog to Google it:

LOVE & MARRIAGE HUNTSVILLE

Three high-powered African-American couples come together to help the thriving city of Huntsville, Ala., continue to grow in "Love & Marriage: Huntsville." The couples are longtime friends and avid socialites with very strong points of view. They help the town grow with their real estate venture, the Comeback Group, as they strive to face the realities of love and marriage while striving for success.

Cast:

Martel Holt

Capricorn

Because he’s a Capricorn, the fact that I don’t like Martel confuses me, cuz typically Capricorn men are my jam, but…from jump, I always had my stank face on every time I saw Martel Oh, don’t get me wrong, bamma has a bangin body and a sweet smile, but he has weasel eyes and I never trusted him even before he cheated on…

Melody Holt

Scorpio

I chose this picture cuz if I have any extra money left this month I’m fittin to get & keep my hair cut like this. I don’t give a 🐀🍑 if it’s outta style, it’s what I’m fittin to do.

Briefly, I like Mel most of the time, but sometimes I feel like she’s a lil extra &/or a little petty. She’s also a Scorpio ♏️ who’s only a couple of years older than my oldest child, so that explains a lot 🤣. No shade (🌴)cuz MiMi is a Scorpio too 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣.

Marsau Scott

Libra

I really,  really like Marsau. I like him because he’s a sarcastic asshole and he reminds me so much of my big brother (hey kd)  that you couldn’t TELL me he wasn’t a Sagittarius ♐️. The only thing I really DON’T like about Marsau is that the show makes it seem like he thinks of his wife as an inferior being. I feel like he wants her to be a mute peasant that’s just supposed to be cute, clean, the house, & raise the kids 😑…

LaTishaScott

Libra

…On the other hand, it may just  be the writing of the show or the fact Marsau’s wife needed speech therapy as a child, but although she has a MBA, LaTisha comes across as whiny and lacking confidence. Her business presentations are weak and lack direction. I’m just glad her stylist found a healthy balance between church usher and fetish stripper cuz the extremes were killing me. She’s not my favorite by far, but I don’t hate her.

Maurice Scott

Libra

Another Libra? Damn y’all -ok.

For the most part I like Maurice; he’s a cutie. The only thing that bothers me about Maurice is he went through all that balderdash and Tom Foolery to get his son “Monster” just to leave it up to Kimmi to raise the boy 🙄. He tries to play the role of an authority figure but from what the show portrays, in my opinion, he falls short. Kimmi is raising HIS son.  Nevertheless, Maurice is sweet and you can see in his eyes how much he loves Kimmi and that’s all that matters to me.

Kimmi Grant-Scott

Aquarius

Despite her sign, Kimmi can do no wrong to me, none, zero, zilch!!! Kimmi is a G!!! A BIG G not a lowercase g. She’s pretty, dresses her ass off, funny, smart af and is a gat damn SURVIVOR. Plus she don’t waste no time puttin a bamma in their place neither. But unlike others of her sign the majority of the time Kimmi is  right;and she ain’t a gat damn liar either🤷🏻‍♀️. If I wanted someone to be in my life to motivate me, make me laugh and call me out on my 💩 and my sisters weren’t around, (hey Ness ♊️ , Kei ♑️ & Lisa ♋️ 👋) I would want Kimmi to be my friend…along with

Stormi Steele

Scorpio

Stormi is so stinkin cute and such a lil G I actually think I have a lil girl crush on her 🥰 and MiMi straight as hell. but I LOVE me some  Stormi. That episode when she was about to mudstomp Destiny??? 🍯…she was wearin the entire fxck outta that body suit, ya feel me? She almost made me never wanna eat again and try to slim down, but I know my limitations 🙄😑🤣.

and I understand whole heartedly what it’s like havin a dysfunctional family, so I watch her with tears in my eyes as she tries to get her family to act right. Don’t stress yourself hon; they grown af and set in their ways. Foolin with them only gonna cause you heartache. But once I get The New Jawn set up and get my hair cut like Mel, I PROMISE I’m gonna purchase some of your body glaze 💜 I mean it; Scorps honor ✌🏼

Part of me doesn’t wanna even bring up this next biotch, but I HAVE to 🙄 because from what I can catch from the commercials and clips from the show this waste of human space right here…is a pill head.

Keke Jabbar

Unsure

I can’t find this troll’s birthday or zodiac sign anywhere 🤷🏻‍♀️. She’ll OD soon anyway so it doesn’t matter, but I heard she’s in her mid thirties but poppin pills will age you so in the pic above she looks my age and I’m in my early 50’s 🤷🏻‍♀️ .

Buckle up, here comes the verbal bashing of this biotch. From what I heard, KeKe is/was an English Professor and that’s the only thing I like about her. I’m not fittin to mince words anymore, but KeKe is a pill poppin junkie who is/was on methadone hence why she looks grey in the FACE and OLD AF!!! I knew something was wrong with her 🍑 when she first came on the show. Pill heads can’t shut up keep eye contact , or their facts straight when they  high. And from what I overheard, this troll relapses in season 7. I bet she called her primary care doctor to get more Xanax but she was at her limit, so she pretends to have a bladder infection and heads to a clinic so she can get pain meds 🤷🏻‍♀️. She’ll clinic hop until she can’t no more then she’ll start selling her plasma so she can buy the pills off the street. When the pills get too expensive she’ll start shooting heroin 🤷🏻‍♀️ because for whatever reason that’s cheaper. I have no sympathy because she knows better. And don’t tell me addiction is a disease 😡, just don’t because I don’t agree unless she was BORN addicted, she CHOSE this life. I’m sure everyone in the cast has been fitted for their funeral dresses and tuxedos already, cuz with her in and outta jail, stealin& lyin, she’ll be dead within 18 months tops 😑 unless somebody puts her FAR AWAY in rehab.

My bad before I forget:

Louis & Tiffany Whitlow

Cancer &  Scorpio

I like “Big Lou” from what I’ve been able to ascertain from the show. He’s big strong and cuddly lol. However I was hopin he’d pimp smack Marsau 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣. Look Marsau is an ass who probably never got pimped smacked in his life, so he needs it. I’m hoping to see more of him in Season 7.

Dag, Tiffany is a Scorpio too. But it’s okay, cuz from what I’m noticing about her is that she’s the reason people 💩 on Scorpios so much 🤣. It’s cuz she’s messy 🤷🏻‍♀️

But messy is a requirement for the show kinda, right?

All that to say, I can’t wait to see the mess that goes down on Saturday.

Just so y’all know, my brain injury kinda prohibits me from participating in the social media banter of the show while I’m actually watchin the show 🤣 and it makes me mad, cuz I wanna play too, but all of y’all are welcome to comment here on The New Jawn.

See ya Saturday!

Until then

✌🏼💜💨